Family and Addiction go hand in hand as a codependent unit. Even though we are quick to point out that once person has a problem, every member plays a role that in some way affects the behaviors of the addict. These roles are often inadvertently accepted and unless they are realized will hinder an addict from recovering. Rehabilitation can help to a certain extent, but without participation from all of the people who frequently surround the troubled individual then a resolution is unlikely. This particular article on Hopelinks.net, attributes codependency as family/friends making decisions or taking on roles that make the addiction of a particular person possible. It suggests that there are six roles that an addict and its surrounding social group belong to. It lists the roles as the Addict, The Hero, The Mascot, The Lost Child, The Scapegoat, and The Caretaker (enabler).
*The Addict: The person with the addiction is the center, and though the key to alcohol and drug addiction recovery, not necessarily the most important in family recovery. The "world" revolves around this person, causing the addict to become the center of attention. As the roles are defined, the others unconsciously take on the rest of the roles to complete the balance after the problem has been introduced.
*The Hero: The Hero is the one who needs to make the family, and role players, look good. They ignore the problem and present things in a positive manner as if the roles within the family did not exist. The Hero is the perfectionist. If they overcome this role they can play an important part in the addiction recovery process. The underlying feelings are fear, guilt, and shame.
*The Mascot: The Mascot's role is that of the jester. They will often make inappropriate jokes about the those involved. Though they do bring humor to the family roles, it is often harmful humor, and they sometimes hinder addiction recovery. The underlying feelings are embarrassment, shame, and anger.
*The Lost Child: The Lost Child is the silent, "out of the way" family member, and will never mention alcohol or recovery. They are quiet and reserved, careful to not make problems. The Lost Child gives up self needs and makes efforts to avoid any conversation regarding the underlying roles.The underlying feelings are guilt, loneliness, neglect, and anger.
*The Scapegoat: The Scapegoat often acts out in front of others. They will rebel, make noise, and divert attention from the person who is addicted and their need for help in addiction recovery. The Scapegoat covers or draws attention away from the real problem. The underlying feelings are shame, guilt, and empty.
The Caretaker (Enabler):The Caretaker makes all the other roles possible. They try to keep everyone happy and the family in balance, void of the issue. They make excuses for all behaviors and actions, and never mention addiction recovery or getting help. The Caretaker (Enabler) presents a situation without problems to the public.The underlying feelings are inadequacy, fear, and helplessness (Hopelinks.net)
An excellent example of this dynamic is the Showtime series Dexter. A brief synopsis of the show is that Dexter Morgan, an introverted thirty-something lives a double life. By day he is a blood spatter expert for the Miami Police Department, all other times he is a brother, boyfriend, and serial killer. Dexter is not your average murderer thought, he is a vigilante who eradicates criminals that “slip through the cracks” of the justice system.
*Addict: Dexter Morgan, the series’ namesake is obviously the central focus of his world. As stated above, since he has the role of addict, the other characters take up roles to balance him out as we find learn of his need to kill.
*Hero/Mascot: Deb Morgan is Dexter’s non-biological sister and fellow police officer. Deb is a perfectionist who will do anything that will make her stand out on a predominantly male force. She always felt that her deceased father loved Dexter more, evoking a desire for closer relationship with her sibling. Dexter’s secret prevents that closeness but he comments she is as close to loving a person as he can come. Deb pretends that there are not problems and jokes that the killer could be a cop. Deb’s devotion to her only known relative blinds her to the fact that Dexter has a dark secret/problem.
*Lost Child: Rita, is Dexter’s on-and-off again girlfriend. The ex-wife of an addict and mother of two children, Rita is damaged. She ignores the fact that Dexter works weird hours and has abnormal tendencies in return for protection. In return for protection, Rita ignores what she suspects is a drug problem by keeping her mouth shut. She never insinuates that Dexter may have a problem, but appreciates the fact that he plays a fatherly role to her children.
*Scapegoat: Rudy and Lila are the scapegoats in Dexter’s World. Unbeknownst to Dexter, he had a brother, which like him was found a the scene of a drug deal massacre and shared a thirst for blood. Known as the “Ice Truck Killer,” Rudy stole the spotlight and took the fall for the murders even though his murders were not for the sake of justice. His motivations were an emptiness coming arising from the fact that Dexter’s was by a cop and he was left for the foster care system and the guilt of not being able to protect his mother. Lila, Dexter’s temporary fling was a fellow addict and sociopath. She recognizes Dexter’s weaknesses immediately in turn feeding her own addiction. Lila has an emptiness which she believes only Dexter can fill. Dexter returns to Rita which results in Lila stealing the spotlight. She sets her own apartment on fire, steals his girlfriends children, tries to get Dexter caught, and even sleeps with his best friend so she get all of the attention.
*Caretaker: Every person that surrounds Dexter is an enabler. Each character that he is “close” to knows there is a secret, but not the extent of it. They may ask questions but never follow through. His deceased father Harry was the primary enabler. Harry Morgan, also a police officer, sensed this addiction growing and instead of seeking help, he taught Dexter kill small animals and follow a set of noble rules.
All of these characters allow Dexter to carry out his need to kill. In order for Dexter to recover as the Hopelink website explains, each member will have to realize these roles and relinquish them. The members must find themselves whole as an individual and be there to support the addict. Since they are a codependent unit, they need to realize that their previous behaviors were allowing the addiction to exist. Unfortunately for Dexter, he has a long way to go.
links: Dexter Homepage- http://www.sho.com/site/dexter/home.do
Family Roles In Addiction & Codependency: http://www.hopelinks.net/addiction/family/roles.html
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