Guided Blog #4

After reading, seeing, and discussing parenting seems so hard. There is not a correct formula for parenting and teaching your offspring about the harsh realities of life. We can look at Koren, an upper-middle class white girl, with all of the tools and resources to succeed, yet she abused alcohol. Her parents were married and seemed to have a good relationship. They spoke to her about drugs and other issues in a relaxed manner, but none the less they were there.
Then we have Jessica and Michelle. Like Koren, Jessica is a white female raised in a upper-middle class neighborhood with at least two parents. She has an incredibly loving mother who cares about her deeply. Michelle parents Jessica in an extremely relaxed style, which focus’ on being her friend more than a parent. It also can be observed that Jessica’s Step-father is not part of parenting her.
Finally, there is Afeni Shakur. A single, black mother addicted to drugs, active in political groups, and extremely impoverished. She was incredibly straightforward with Tupac and her daughter, but wasn’t always around. Afeni was also in jail a great deal as well.
Oddly enough, I almost think that Tupac had the best upbringing. He may have not had money or a stable parent. However, this absence taught him to fend for himself and to be creative. When Afeni was present in his life, she was not afraid to say no and inform him of the repercussions of his actions.
It almost doesn’t matter if you have two parents and a lot of money, because unless your parents teach you about life, through either experience or discussion, a child will not learn. Even if they teach themselves, the manner in which they do may not be correct. Koren and Jessica both had parents, but the fact that Koren’s set were oblivious to her behavior and Jessica’s mom was more concerned with friendship than parenting are equivalent to them not even being there. In essence, Koren and Jessica were parentless for majority of their lives. Nobody taught those girls about alcohol and its evils. Nobody told them about drugs and sex. Most importantly people rarely said no or intervened. The fact that Jessica admits to blacking out four times a week to her mother is disgusting. Michelle appears somewhat bothered, but is more concerned with her 30 day binge drinking experiment. Koren’s mother does something similar but saying, you can drink but only with us.(too bad it was already too late to impose that rule)
This is not to say that Afeni Shakur deserves any parent of the year awards. She was a drug addict and a Black Panther, but she never forgot her children. She made many mistakes but she was there to say No and teach her kids about life on the streets. She worked hard to be both parents and keep a roof over her family’s head in a time when her race, gender, political views, social status, relationship status, and use of drugs oppressed her.
In the end I was more upset with the fact that Jessica and Koren were extremely privileged and used all of their resources in a destructive manner. More importantly, those girls didn’t even appreciate their parents. In fact, Koren seemed more bothered by their presence than anything. Tupac definitely made some mistakes but he rose above the obstacles and oppressions by educating himself and appreciating the woman who gave him life. There is no proper way to rear a child and mistakes are inevitable, but it is better to make mistakes than live in fear of making them and not doing anything at all.